Going Out with No Bang...

...but rather, a crash.

Today is the last day of NaBloPoMo. There is a general sense of relief that this is over, out there among my fellow bloggers. I am on the fence. I actually did not find it too much of a stress...other than the days when Sam was sick. (Which come to think of it was almost half of the month.) I didn't actually mind the forced regularity. Kind of like bran for bloggers. I kinda liked it. Maybe it will be the catalyst for more regular posting in the future.

But back to the crash. Can you sense that something is just not quite right today? I know you can't...but it is staring me right in the face...quite literally. I am on Harv's laptop today.(Don't get me started on my personal disdain for laptops. That is another subject for another post.) I was searching on line for some info regarding the list (because I believe in well researched, truthful journalism) when all of a sudden...crash. My computer picked up a virus or something equally devastating to it (and to me personally). So now...it is on a ventilator and I am not sure if they can save it. OK...not quite so dramatic...but it is in the "shop" and "they" (the smart ones) are working on it. I really REALLY hope that they can save it. I would be DEVASTATED to loose everything on that computer. (I actually sound pretty calm, considering last evenings complete and total meltdown.)

So here I am...the 30th post on the 30th day. And I wanted to go out with a bang. But there is no bang. There is no celebration (though I do feel a tremendous amount of personal satisfaction for pulling this off). There is no interesting diatribe, or witty banter. It is just me...limping my way to the finish line on a dumb laptop. A little anti-climactic I think.

But just to show you that we still do know how to have a good time around here, here is Sam, sporting a new do to cheer on Mommy...

See you next year! (Or maybe tomorrow...)

If SHE can do it...

...then so can I.

THERE. I posted.

Because Youth is so Full of Contradictions...

Just to completely contradict my birthday post, I found this little ditty that made me feel REALLY old. I present to you…

You Know You’re Old When:

~ You remember the very first microwave in the family.
~ You once owned a pair of jelly shoes.
~ You remember the first time legwarmers were cool.
~ Spiral perms and feathered hair…need I say more?
~ You remember when Beta’s were a tape, not a fish.
~ You have eaten MacDonald’s pizza.
~ You had to get up and walk to the TV to change the channel.
~ You were paid $1.50 an hour for babysitting 4 kids.
~ You actually had to go to a library and look something up when you wanted information.
~ You have adopted a Pound Puppy
~ You knew that “Wax On, Wax Off” held all the answers to all of life’s questions.
~ You knew a time when beer commercials couldn’t show until after 10:00 pm.
~ You remember singing along to 8 tracks of Nana Mouskouri.
~ A perfect Sunday afternoon consisted watching Gidget movies. Ahhh Moondoggie...so dreamy.
~You remember the original Price is Right, Let's Make a Deal and Family Feud.
~ Wearing your sunglasses at night was cool. Thanks to Corey Hart.
~ Your mother had to actually consider whether I Dream of Jeanie was appropriate viewing material.
~ You can sing the theme song from Love Boat on demand.

Hmmmm. I would like to meet the young whippersnapper who came up with this list!

No Time...

...for posting.

Too busy being spoiled by hubby for my birthday. Sammy is with Grandma, so we are footloose and fancy free! There has been hand holding, and window shopping. And lingering. No stroller. No feeding schedule. It's all about us. Guess what we did? Went to the mall and looked at little clothes for Sam. Even when he is not with us, he is with us. I love it.

Good times.

Holding on to my Youth

Harv woke me up with a kiss and a “Happy Birthday” this morning. I said…”Wow – I can’t believe I am 27!” I guess I was still in a partial state of dreaming.

I have been thinking about age. Not surprising given that I am turning a year older today. I have been thinking how age is just all relative. Its feeling changes like the swaying of my moods. I feel that way now more than ever. When we are first born, the passing days bring such wonder. Every month we celebrate Sam’s “birthday” and marvel at how fast the time is going. I just want to hang on to every moment. When we are young (no longer babies), the time seems to slow down. We are bursting at the seams to age. We are “Twelve and a HALF”; "Thirteen and three quarters thank you very much” and so on. We are always looking ahead to that next age of opportunity.

I remember it was around high school graduation/college, when I felt somewhat of a dawning coming over me…an awareness of life going so fast. I felt like time was picking up speed. But at the same time, I felt like I was in the prime of my life. Like a slow motion movie picture.

In my mid-twenties I remember feeling so old. I realize now it was very circumstantial. There I was – mid twenties – not married. No prospects on the horizons. Seemingly all my friends were married and starting families. I felt so old. Like the big party ship had passed me by, and I was stuck on the river raft all alone. I was young, but felt old. Old and alone. Then I met and married Harv, and felt young again. All of a sudden life was before me. We were the newlyweds. The young married’s (so to speak). I went from feeling old to young in a pretty short period of time.

In my early thirties I started to feel old once again. But in this case it felt more like a panic situation. Life was passing me by, and I felt like….like I was loosing time. At that point we had no kids – and were feeling pretty hopeless about ever having kids. I didn’t have a career. I did not particularly love my role as pastor’s wife. I felt like I had a big clock in front of me – wherever I turned – staring me in the face, just tick-tick-ticking away. Every year that went by, I felt more panicked, and more old. I felt like opportunity was slipping by me. Birthdays were not really a welcome event.

And today I turn 37. WOW. 37 seems MIGHTY close to my 40’s. Yikes. And how do I feel today? I feel content. I feel happy with where I am. I feel right where I should be. I don’t know what it is…maybe it is just having my Sam; but I feel good. I love where we live. I love, love our new church and I love, love, LOVE being a mother to my little Sam. Holding him seems to make time and age disappear. I don’t feel the same panicked sense that “life is passing me by” like I have felt the last number of years. I am tempted to say that “late 30’s” is a great age. But I know better now. I think that it is just a great time in my life and that makes me feel young. And happy. So happy birthday to me. And happy day to you…whether you are “young” or “old”.

Knowlege is Power People

November 25th. 25 days of posting. It would seem a little crazy to throw in the towel now. And yet, here I sit trying to talk myself out of that very thing. I think I am going to have to break down and resort to the file.

And so tonight, for your reading pleasure, I give to you...

Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know

~ A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
~ A snail can sleep for three years.
~ All polar bears are left handed.
~ American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class.
~ Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
~ An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
~ Babies are born without knee caps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
~ Butterflies taste with their feet.
~ Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about 10.
~ Cat urine glows under a black light.
~ China has more English speakers than the United States.
~ Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear any pants.
~ Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
~ Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.
~ February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
~ I am. Is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
~ If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
~ If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
~ If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days, you will have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
~ In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including eyebrows and eyelashes.
~ Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
~ Michael Jordon makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
~ No word in the English language rhymes with month.
~ Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
~ On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
~ One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the 1930’s lobbied against hemp farmers – they saw it as competition.
~ Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
~ Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (NO!!)
~ Shakespeare invented the word “assassination and “bump”.
~ Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
~ Starfish haven’t got brains.
~ Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
~ The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
~ The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night. (eewww!)
~ The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
~The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only 6 inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
~ The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
~ The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
~ The male praying mantis cannot mate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates mating by ripping the male’s head off.
~ The most common name in the world in Mohammed.
~The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
~ The name Wendy was made up for the book “Peter Pan”.
~The Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as necessary.
~The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
~The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.
~There are at least 2 credit cards for every person in the United States.
~TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
~Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
~ You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
~ You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.

Now don't tell me you don't learn things on this blog.

Happy Days are Here Again

Ahh man, maybe if I didn't leave this until 11:00 at night I wouldn't have to scramble to find something to post about that doesn't border on lame. Lame night after night is not such a good thing if I want to keep you all coming back. And trust me, I do. Or else I would just invest in a pretty journal and fancy pen and be done with it. Well wouldn't that be an idea for a post - an exert from my journal. Wow. I don't think so. We are close people, but not that close. heh heh

Really, it doesn't matter, because there is just one thing that I want to say tonight. Only one thing on my mind...

HE'S BAAAAAAACK!!!!

Still a little snotty. Still a little rumbly in his breathing. Still coughing. BUT he is smiling. And talking. And playing. And eating. And giggling. And after more than a week of sick baby, that is the BEST news I have, and deserves a post all on its own. Welcome back my baby!!

Some Days there are just No Words

Some days there are just no words. I keep coming back to my computer to stare for a while, placing my fingers expectantly above the keys waiting for inspiration to strike. But the truth is...well...

I got nothing.

I even looked back to what I was writing 4 years ago in November. I seemed to have a lot to say then. But tonight....blank.

Sorry.

How about this: I'll be back...

Talk amongst yourselves.

Smiles

There are not too many perks to having a house full of sickies. Does 2 sick members actually count as a house full? Anyway, not alot of laughter and good times around here...but there are a few things that have been silver linings around black clouds. And so for tonight's post, here is what has been making me smile...

~ After church, one of the ladies called and asked if I needed anything. I felt very touched by her concern. I hung up and told Harv that what I really would have liked was for her to bring us supper, because as far as a housewife/cook goes, I am just not keeping it together. I was too shy to ask. 10 minutes later my good friend Julie called and said that she was bringing us supper tomorrow night, because she just knows. I love my church. They make me smile.

~ Having a sick husband means having a husband at home. It has been a loooong time since we have shared a Sunday evening at home. Tonight we caught up on TV shows and I strung popcorn for the tree. I love cleaning out my PVR. And I love LOVE stringing popcorn. Two smiles.

~ Sam and I have been having lots (and I mean LOTS) of cuddle time. Sweet smile.

~ I have been playing this game on Facebook - Island Paradise. It is perfect for killing time in the middle of the night when you are popping in and out of baby's room every ten minutes trying to get the little hacker back to sleep. Tired smile.

~Sam woke up from a little nap this afternoon and Harv actually got a giggle out of him. After nothing but crying for almost 7 days, that was the most beautiful sound to my ears!! BIG smile.

~And the fact that yet another post is done (squeaked out just before the stroke of midnight), and I have almost made it through the month brings a big smile. Shock and awe smile.

Missing the Lake

Today was a GORGEOUS day. Well at least that is what I was told. I missed it. I guess I did feel it for a moment when I took the garbage out to the bin. I have been pretty much stuck inside with sick little Sam. Who yes, is still sick. I really wish I could have been outside today. The wind is now picking up, and I can hear the waves crashing from inside my house. I love that. I LOVE listening to the water. I miss the lake. Come to think of it...I missed the lake. Have I mentioned that I live by the lake? Apparently I do. Not that I would know from personal time spent near its waters. I missed it. The summer went by, and I missed it. I was a little too busy fumbling through my adjustment to motherhood to really enjoy the full benefits of lake life. I was also to busy to post about living at the lake, so I will do that now. In honor of this gorgeous day, I would like to present to you my life by the lake. Or, the life I would have had, had I not missed it.

Seven minutes from my front door, through a lovely wooded path...

You will find a staircase...

Which leads to this little patch of tranquility...

Complete with rocks to sit on, privacy to enjoy, and water as far as the eye can see.

It even comes with its own beach babes...

Ahhh if only I could turn back time. Who wants to join me next summer for a loungy day at the lake? I don't intend to miss it again.

I am too tired to come up with a great title.

Oh goodness. Is it already the 20th? Does anyone else think that this month is going by really fast?

Let’s see…what can I talk about today? Sam is still sick. Harv is still sick. I am still tired.

What to write? What to write? *Looks around the room hoping for inspiration. How about my office? I am so lucky. I have this wonderful office/craft room that most would kill for. I painted it this amazing, inspiring shade of purple. It is a great room. Well…it is GOING to be a great room. The problem is this…

Actually, I see two things wrong with this picture. I see piles of unpacked STUFF that needs a home. And I see a little Sam who is about to start crawling and tearing into all of it!!! It is a child protective custody case just waiting to happen. It’s like a minefield of everything those parenting magazines warn you to deal with before the crawling starts. The clock is ticking.

What to do, what to do.

I think the mess is multiplying. For every pile I declutter, one more seems to pop up. This has become the “throw it in my office” room whenever we are cleaning the house and do not know where to put things. I am a little afraid that the people from those clutter shows like "Hoarders" are secretly peering through my windows scoping out their next story.

At least now with Sam sick, I may have bought myself a few extra sorting days. See, every black cloud has a silver lining. And now back to work.

Random Thoughts from a Tired Mind

OK. Here is a little bit of randomness, because that is the kind of day it has been.

~I think Sam may have turned a corner. We even managed to get a little smile out of him today. He went from that unmoving, pathetic little stare to…well…a tad on the grumpy side. The hacking cough, runny nose, and basic slobbery wetness is still there but his fever is a little lower. He didn’t want me to put him down all day. Just Mommy. No Daddy. Just me. Oh, and he wouldn’t nap. SO…you can imagine what kind of day it has been over here.

~Harv is now sick too. Do you know what is worse than a sick baby? A sick baby and a sick baby…er…husband. Actually he has been pretty good. But only because when he told me that he was getting sick I stared at him with this tired, tortured, deer-in-the-headlights sort of gaze and told him that I could only handle sick Sam. Not sick Sam and sick Harv. Feel free to nominate me for any wife of the year awards you come across. Sigh.

~I have been known to cope with stress and tiredness with chocolate. And when there is no chocolate in the house (to avoid the pitfalls of said coping mechanisms) I turn into a bit of a loon.

~I didn’t enjoy Grey’s Anatomy tonight. Not that it wasn’t good. I love that show more than I care to admit. But the whole time I was focused on the dawning reality that an episode that expands from Thanksgiving until after the New Year means only this…no new Grey’s until after the New Year. Hmm. Me not likey.

~I am ACHING to decorate for Christmas. But so far all I have is a bunch of boxes moved from my garage to my entrance. They call to me, and I cannot answer. They taunt me.

~I actually like this daily blogging thing. I am finding it surprisingly enjoyable. I may actually run out of days before I run out of topics. Who knew I would have so much to say? Who knew?

My Aching Heart

The very last thing I feel like doing right now is blogging. I am so tired. BUT – I started this thing, and I have made it to the 18th and by George, I am not giving up now. Have I mentioned how tired I am?

Last night after I read Becky’s comment I sweetly persuaded Harv to move to the futon for the night. I then collected my sick little guy and tucked him in securely beside me for the night. He fell asleep clutching my hand with his little one. And I laid awake all night listening to him breathe. It was a long long night. He slept poorly. And his breathing sounded so terrible. Oh - a side note…another thing they don’t tell you in prenatal classes is how your heart will be ripped to shreds when your child is sick.

Yesterday, the doctor at the hospital took a swab for H1N1, but we won’t find out what those results are for at least a week. Honestly I was hoping that they would tell me I was just being an over-anxious mom and send me out the door. But they didn’t. In the meantime we talked to Sam’s pediatrician who wanted us to bring him in. So today we hauled our little sickie to Winnipeg. She said that he has Croup. I don’t really know what croup is. The only thing I remember about croup is on Anne of Green Gables when Diana’s little sister Minnie May was "awful sick" with the croup and Matthew and Anne rushed over to the Berry’s to “administer the Ipecac". It was all very dramatic. And then there was Matthew…sweet Matthew who said to Marilla later in that quiet voice of his…”You would have been proud of the way she saved that Berry baby.” Ah Matthew. Sweet Matthew. And aahh, my sweet little Sam.

But I digress.

So he has Croup…and the jury is still out on the H1N1. They sent us home…told us to expect this to last about 7 days. Said to try to keep his fever down and watch his breathing. It’s all just a little painful.

And then, in the midst of it all…my sick little baby, all lethargic, sickly, and barely moving…raises his little hands…clap-clap, clap-clap. The little trooper.

And once again, my aching heart is ripped to shreds.

And That's All She Wrote...

Not too long of a post tonight. I have a sick, sick little Sam over here. And of coarse, new mommy is completely and illogically freaking out. We took him to the hospital today when after I went into his room and he had this raspy, shallow breathing that sent all the H1N1 warning bells off in my head. My poor little guy. He is so sick. And he just stares. And whimpers. And stares some more. And really...I just can't take it.

I know I am being completely ridiculous here. But can you pray anyway?

And now for something completely different...

My Mom and Dad have been sneaking boxes over to my house every time they come to visit. I guess they would like to finally see their children leave the nest (at least their old stuff anyway). So I have been sorting. I have been finding all sorts of treasures. Well…treasures for a moment, and then, they mostly become trash or MCC donations.

Today I found a little poem that I obviously found so amusing at one point in my youth that I bothered to write it down. Maybe I just knew that one day I would be posting daily in the month of November and would become a little desperate around the 16th. Enjoy.

Cinderella

I guess you think you know this story,
You don’t. The real one’s much more gory.
The phony one, the one you know,
Was cooked up years and years ago,
And made to sound all soft and sappy
Just to keep the children happy.

Mind you, they got the first bit right
The bit where in the dead of night,
The ugly sisters, jewels and all,
Departed for the palace ball.
While darling little Cinderella,
Was locked up in the slimy cellar,
Where rats who wanted things to eat
Began to nibble at her feet.

She bellowed, “Help!” and “Let me out!”
The magic fairy heard her shout.
Appearing in a blaze of light,
She said, “My dear, are you alright?”
“All Right?” cried Cindy, “Can’t you see
I feel as rotten as can be!”
She beat her fist against the wall,
And shouted “Get me to the Ball!
There is a disco at the palace!
The rest have gone and I am jalous!
I want a dress! I want a coach!
And earrings and a diamond brooch!
And lovely nylon pantyhose!
Thereafter it will be a cinch
To hook the handsome royal Prince!”
The fairy said, “Hang on a tick.”
She gave her wand a mighty flick.
And quickly, in no time at all
Cindy was at the palace ball!

It made the ugly sisters wince
To see her dancing with the Prince.
She held him very tight and pressed
Herself against his manly chest
The prince himself was turned to pulp,
All he could do was gasp and gulp.
Then midnight struck. She shouted “Heck!
I’ve got to run to save my neck!”
The prince cried, “No! Alas! Alack!”
He grabbed her dress to hold her back.
As Cindy shouted, “Let me go!”
The dress was ripped from head to toe.
She ran out in her underwear,
But lost one slipper on the stair.

The Prince was on it like a dart,
He pressed it to his pounding heart,
“The girl the slipper fits,” he cried,
“Tomorrow morn will be my bride!
I’ll visit every house in town
Until I’ve tracked the maiden down!”
Then rather carelessly, I fear,
He placed it on a crate of beer.
At once one of the ugly sisters,
(the one whose face was blotched with blisters)
Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,
And quickly flushed it down the loo.
Then in its place she calmly put
The slipper from her own left foot.
Ah-ha, you see, the plot grows thicker,
And Cindy’s luck starts looking sicker.

Next day the Prince went charging down
To knock on all the doors in town,
In every house, the tension grew,
Who was the owner of the shoe?
The shoe was huge and frightfully wide.
(A normal foot got lost inside.)
Also it smelled a wee bit icky.
(The owner’s feet were hot and sticky.)
Thousands of eager people came
To try it on, but all in vain.
Now came the ugly sisters’ go
One tried it on. The Prince screamed “No!’
But she screamed, “Yes, It fits! Whoooppeee!
So now you’ve got to marry me!”

The prince went white from ear to ear,
He muttered, “Let’s get out of here.”
“Oh no you don’t! You’ve made a vow!
There’s no way you can back out now!”
“Off with her head!” the Prince roared back.
They chopped it off with one big whack.
This pleased the Prince. He smiled and said,
“She’s prettier without her head.”
Then up came sister number two,
Who yelled, “Now I will try the shoe!”
“Try this instead!” the Prince yelled back.
He swung his trusty sword and smack –
Her head went crashing to the ground.
It bounced a bit and rolled around.

In the kitchen peeling spuds,
Cinderella heard the thuds
Of bouncing heads upon the floor,
And poked her own head round the door.
“What’s all the racket?” Cindy cried.
“Mind your own bizz.” The prince relied.
Poor Cindy’s heart was torn to shreds.
My prince! She thought. He chops off heads!
How could I marry anyone
Who does that sort of thing for fun?

The Prince cried, “Who’s this dirty mutt?
Off with her nut! Off with her nut!
Just then, all in a blaze of light,
The magic Fairy hove in sight.
Her magic wand went swoosh and swish!
“Cindy!” She cried, “Come make a wish!
Wish anything and have no doubt
That I will make it come about!”
Cindy answered, “Oh kind Fairy,
This time I shall be more wary.
No more Princes, no more money.
I have had my taste of honey.
I’m wishing for a decent man,
They’re hard to find. D’you think you can?”
Within a minute, Cinderella
Was married to a lovely feller,
A simple jam maker by trade.
Who sold good homemade marmalade.
Their house was filled with smiles and laughter
And they were happy ever after.

Yes, I AM Aware of how Irritating I am

I remember in my youth being so annoyed by those girls. You know the ones. The ones that start dating and completely fall off the face of the earth. It’s like they meet a guy, and all girl friendships fly to the wind. I used to be so annoyed. I was never going to be that way.

And then I met Harv.

I remember being quite the anti “mommy blog” girl. I really didn’t want to hear about your cute babies. No, I didn’t think your child was the cutest I had ever seen. No, I didn’t really want to hear about what Jimmy ate for supper and how he was on the verge of crawling. And no, I did not want a play by play of his toilet tutorial. I wondered why you were blogging about it, talking to me about it in the supermarket, using facebook as your personal play by play for the on goings of little Susie. I wasn’t going to be that way.

And then I had Sam.

I get it. I get it people. I. GET. IT. And I am now one of you. It’s all I want to write about. And Sam is all I want to talk about. I want to share with you how he is having trouble napping, and how he is on the verge of crawling, and that he is really struggling with tooth #5. I want to blog about his every action, and ask you if he isn’t just the cutest baby you have ever seen?! I want to post pictures and have you tell me how cute you think my baby is. I want to share how I feel like a horrible mother, because I let Sam roll off the bed this afternoon. Right off the bed. A big thud. And a big wail. I want to tell you how I am still, hours later checking him for broken bones and signs of concussions. And how I am still apologizing to my little Sammy for being a bad, bad Mommy. I want you to tell me that it's ok, and that the same thing happened to you. (And really, you probably have already told me, and I may have glazed over at the time.)

And now I am apologizing to you. To all the mom’s out there. I was wrong. And I want to hear about it. I want to know everything. I search for your blogs on line and happily read about little Jimmy and his daily adventures. I bookmark you as my favorites. I delight in meeting you in the grocery store, or in Tim Horton’s, as we compare baby ages and names and laugh over our matching Nestle diaper bags. And I am sorry.

And I know…to some…I am completely irritating. And I know I am. And I am sorry. I am aware. And I am sorry.

Oh, and one more thing….Isn’t he the cutest baby EVER?!?!

The Ticking Time Bomb of the Uninspired

8:10…Oh good grief. I still need to post today. What to say? What to say?
8:23…Still got nothin.
8:27…Hmmm. I feel a little ill. I BETTER NOT be getting H1N1.
8:31…I’m going over to play farmtown.
8:46…My farmtown flowers were totally dead from lack of water. Don’t tell Grandma.
8:47…I’m going to go clean my kitchen. Maybe inspiration will strike.
8:56…I’m back. Too big of a job to tackle at 8:56 on a Saturday night.
8:57…Should I talk about the boy that mooned me on the #1 Hwy this morning?
9:01…I wonder what the other NaBloPoMo writers are posting about tonight?
9:52…OK, I’m back. I wonder if they think I have been staring at this blank screen the whole time?
9:56…Becky has a good post tonight. I am totally copying her (and Melissa).
9:57...But not tonight. Too much work.
9:58…Feeling a little pressure here. Where is the inspiration?
9:59…Good grief. Its 10:00…what the hoink am I going to post about? My readers are counting on me. I can’t let them down.
10:00…I may be on to something here.
10:01…This is a pretty brilliant post if I do say so myself.
10:02...And I do.
10:05…I am totally posting this.
10:06…heh heh heh

HE DID IT!!!!

He did it!! He FINALLY did it!! He rolled from his tummy to his back.

This is a REALLY BIG DEAL.

Now maybe we can ALL get some sleep. No more getting up every 10 minutes to turn him like a little rotisserie chicken.

It is a happy day.

Blessed

It’s one hundred different little things.

It’s folding a tiny shirt. It's feeling that soft cheek pressed against mine. It’s using the church nursery. It’s washing bottles and little spoons. Today it was this:

The sight of those little shoes, carelessly thrown on the table; made my heart stop. It’s one hundred different little things.

It's these little things that squeeze my heart and tell me… You get to be a Mom. You get to be HIS Mom. And every time, in one hundred different ways, my heart feels full. And I feel JOY.

And I know, in one hundred different ways, that I am blessed.

The Best Intentions

I lead a group of women on Tuesday nights. It is an accountability/encouragement group of sorts. It is mostly related to weight issues, but we have been known to digress. I am in no way a qualified leader of this group. But I needed it, and no one would start one for me…so I started it myself.

Last night we were talking about living intentionally. Being intentional about our health, our choices, our relationship with God, etc… I do not live intentionally. I live reactively. Now I am sure Oprah would have 800 things to say to me about intentions, and living my best life and so on and so forth. And really, before I had my little Sam (and was already living unintentionally) I may have listened with a glimmer of hope. But now…I just don’t know. What was a struggle before, now just seems impossible.

How do you live intentionally when your whole day seems to be at the whim of a little 8 month old? Oh, don’t get me wrong…I have plans. I have a to do list. And if you know me well, you will know that it is an extremely long and unreasonable list of the things that I would like to accomplish in the span of any given day. It is sticking to the plan that gives me trouble.

Is it even possible in this particular season of my life to live intentionally? I intentionally got on the treadmill this morning. I also intentionally got off that treadmill every five minutes to rescue Sam from being on his tummy which he seems to hate. I intentionally sat down to fold the laundry. I also intentionally left the laundry when Sam needed his diaper changed. I intentionally planned to study a book I picked up regarding great foods to feed baby. I also intentionally left that book when I actually had to feed baby, rather than just reading about feeding him.

And so my days go. What should I do? Should I just embrace it? Embrace reactive living? I love being a mom…that would be easy to do. But I also love living in a house that is not complete chaos. And I know that I need to be intentional about my health so that I can enjoy being a mom for many years to come. I have just never felt so…thwarted in my plans.

Ahhh but what an adorable little thwarter. I LOVE reacting to that little guy. I am now going to intentionally walk by the dirty dishes and intentionally gaze lovingly at that little one whom I adore.