The Best Intentions
I lead a group of women on Tuesday nights. It is an accountability/encouragement group of sorts. It is mostly related to weight issues, but we have been known to digress. I am in no way a qualified leader of this group. But I needed it, and no one would start one for me…so I started it myself.
Last night we were talking about living intentionally. Being intentional about our health, our choices, our relationship with God, etc… I do not live intentionally. I live reactively. Now I am sure Oprah would have 800 things to say to me about intentions, and living my best life and so on and so forth. And really, before I had my little Sam (and was already living unintentionally) I may have listened with a glimmer of hope. But now…I just don’t know. What was a struggle before, now just seems impossible.
How do you live intentionally when your whole day seems to be at the whim of a little 8 month old? Oh, don’t get me wrong…I have plans. I have a to do list. And if you know me well, you will know that it is an extremely long and unreasonable list of the things that I would like to accomplish in the span of any given day. It is sticking to the plan that gives me trouble.
Is it even possible in this particular season of my life to live intentionally? I intentionally got on the treadmill this morning. I also intentionally got off that treadmill every five minutes to rescue Sam from being on his tummy which he seems to hate. I intentionally sat down to fold the laundry. I also intentionally left the laundry when Sam needed his diaper changed. I intentionally planned to study a book I picked up regarding great foods to feed baby. I also intentionally left that book when I actually had to feed baby, rather than just reading about feeding him.
And so my days go. What should I do? Should I just embrace it? Embrace reactive living? I love being a mom…that would be easy to do. But I also love living in a house that is not complete chaos. And I know that I need to be intentional about my health so that I can enjoy being a mom for many years to come. I have just never felt so…thwarted in my plans.
Ahhh but what an adorable little thwarter. I LOVE reacting to that little guy. I am now going to intentionally walk by the dirty dishes and intentionally gaze lovingly at that little one whom I adore.
2 comments:
Living intentionally for me means I intentionally choose my children over other things. Choosing to leave the dishes in the sink to play Transformers when Ben and Sam want me to isn't just reacting. I've chosen to be a mom, and it's important to me to be the kind of mom who puts her kids first.
(I wish I was better at that actually. It's brutal how I can get wrapped up in other things and at the end of the day I wish I could have a do over.)
I'll bet you Shirley, A DRUMSTICK, that you are actually living more intentionally now than you ever have.
Also, he still can't roll back onto his back from his stomach? What is that kid doing? LOL. Little pudding pop. I just want to SQUISH him!
I like this...I like this whole comment. Especially the part about the drumstick. :)
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