My Aching Heart
The very last thing I feel like doing right now is blogging. I am so tired. BUT – I started this thing, and I have made it to the 18th and by George, I am not giving up now. Have I mentioned how tired I am?
Last night after I read Becky’s comment I sweetly persuaded Harv to move to the futon for the night. I then collected my sick little guy and tucked him in securely beside me for the night. He fell asleep clutching my hand with his little one. And I laid awake all night listening to him breathe. It was a long long night. He slept poorly. And his breathing sounded so terrible. Oh - a side note…another thing they don’t tell you in prenatal classes is how your heart will be ripped to shreds when your child is sick.
Yesterday, the doctor at the hospital took a swab for H1N1, but we won’t find out what those results are for at least a week. Honestly I was hoping that they would tell me I was just being an over-anxious mom and send me out the door. But they didn’t. In the meantime we talked to Sam’s pediatrician who wanted us to bring him in. So today we hauled our little sickie to Winnipeg. She said that he has Croup. I don’t really know what croup is. The only thing I remember about croup is on Anne of Green Gables when Diana’s little sister Minnie May was "awful sick" with the croup and Matthew and Anne rushed over to the Berry’s to “administer the Ipecac". It was all very dramatic. And then there was Matthew…sweet Matthew who said to Marilla later in that quiet voice of his…”You would have been proud of the way she saved that Berry baby.” Ah Matthew. Sweet Matthew. And aahh, my sweet little Sam.
But I digress.
So he has Croup…and the jury is still out on the H1N1. They sent us home…told us to expect this to last about 7 days. Said to try to keep his fever down and watch his breathing. It’s all just a little painful.
And then, in the midst of it all…my sick little baby, all lethargic, sickly, and barely moving…raises his little hands…clap-clap, clap-clap. The little trooper.
And once again, my aching heart is ripped to shreds.
2 comments:
While I pray for your little man I will pray for your shredded heart. Been there, done that, and even though my son is now 29 I still remember those days of worry. May the Lord protect and heal the wee dear one.
Croup!! I remember croup! I remember long nights sleeping on the floor beside Nathan with the cool air steamer making the room like a sauna, listening to him breathe and do the bark cough. Not fun! But you'll get thru it and Sam will like having you by his side. Praying for you!
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