People

The other night a friend introduced me to a new show (as if I need any more shows to be addicted to...) Beauty and the Geek. As we watched we got into a discussion about what made a geek a geek. She informed me quite matter of factly that I was indeed a geek. I tried to contain my shock, though my stunned look and outcry of “I am NOT a GEEK!” might have given it away. This conversation has stayed in my mind ever since and I am left feeling quite baffled.

I know that this friend meant no ill towards me, and holds me in her highest affections (Hmmm... and it may be sentences like this last one that make her come to such conclusions about my inner geek.) though I was starting to wonder when she added a few days later that you cannot be beautiful and be a geek. I’m not sure what she is trying to do to my self esteem. She herself is a self proclaimed geek, and claims to be married to one. But even being aware of this, in regards to myself, I still must protest. And in doing so, I send this question out to the masses. What makes a geek a geek?

I decided to consult Webster’s. I was sure he would be on my side. This is what I found:

geek –noun
1. A person with an unusual or odd personality.

That was not really the rock solid defense case I was looking for. It could go either way. Though I do see myself as somewhat quirky, I don’t know that I would go as far as saying I was odd. I decided to try again. An online dictionary stated it this way:

geek Slang.
–noun
1. a peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, esp. one who is perceived to be overly intellectual.
2. a computer expert or enthusiast (a term of pride as self-reference, but often considered offensive when used by outsiders.)
3. a carnival performer who performs sensationally morbid or disgusting acts, as biting off the head of a live chicken.
Origin: 1915- 20

Form — geek·dom \ˈgēk-dəm\ noun
— geek·i·ness noun
— geeky \ˈgē-kē\ adjective

My dear husband came and looked at this definition and said, “That doesn’t describe you at all.” Bless his heart for not being able to visualize me as someone who bites the heads off of chickens. That is why I love him so much. So together we decided that I was indeed NOT a geek, and that I could put all such worries and offense out of my head.

But I am still thinking about it. Thinking about what makes a geek, and about what kind of people fall into that class. Even more importantly, I am thinking about - who decides? Who walked down the street one day and decided that so-and-so was deserving of this unflattering title? Who decides who falls into the category of geek, who makes the grade of beautiful, who is considered cool and who falls short? Who decided that we were not just all people with our own differences and quirks and uniqueness, but rather a society of classes...geeks, beauties, cool people and so on and so forth?

At the risk of recreating the scene in Can't Buy Me Love where Patrick Dempsey (aka "McDreamy") makes a similar heartfelt speech in the school yard (which incidentally was followed with that Hollywood classic that gets me every time- the awkward silence turned into a single slow hand clap that builds into uproarring applause.) I must say, I don’t see people that way. At least I try not to. I don’t see people as “too cool” for me, or not cool enough. I just see us all as… people...different people with different strengths and weaknesses. Some people I get along with better than others. Some I feel more of a kinship with. But we are all just people. Aren’t we ALL “cool” in some ways? Aren’t we all a little odd in some ways? Isn’t that what makes us all unique and special - our differences? Isn’t that what makes people – people?

So today I am embracing me…embracing people. People with differences. People with uniqueness. People with oddities and quirks. People who are cool. People who are classy. People who are known as geeks. People who are just people.

And even people who happen to think I am a geek.