A Momentary Leaving of the Leaves

I’m taking a leaf break. I am learning to live in balance, and so I am on a leaf break. I picked up this fridge magnet in Victoria that simply states “Live in Balance”. And seeing as how I do not have a balanced bone in my body, I have decided to start with a leaf break.

Baby steps.

I am very extreme. I do not do things half way. It’s either all the way, or not at all. I will clean the house, the closets, the nooks and crannies until it glistens like a castle of grandeur; or I will live in squalor, covered in my own filth and clutter. Ok it’s not quite that bad, but almost. I will blog like crazy, or not post for almost a month. I will be the best pastor’s wife that anyone has ever seen, visiting everyone and volunteering for everything, or I will not leave the house for two weeks. I am all or nothing. I do it all or not at all. Unfortunately, it usually happens that “not at all” wins out. This can leave one feeling quite unaccomplished in their life. (But that is another subject entirely and seeing I don’t have time to get into it in its entirety…I will not say anything about it at all. You see…I can’t help myself.)

I’m not sure how I became this way - this extreme version of myself. To be honest, I don’t really like it. It has gotten me in trouble on more than one occasion. So the magnet is good for me - Live in Balance. Harv reminds me of it on a daily basis. I asked him yesterday if he had known this about me before we got married, would he still have walked down the aisle? He said of coarse he would. But then he added with a smirk that he just would have gotten me into therapy before the wedding to have a head start. HaHa.

And so, the leaf break. In the case of my unbalanced leaf history, I will normally rake the entire yard – all 180 feet of it in one time frame, or I will not touch it. But not today. Today I am living in balance. Today I am raking for 20 minute time periods. And I may even have to leave some of it for tomorrow. I feel so liberated. Like I am growing. Changing. Becoming normal. Becoming balanced. And it's all because of a leaf break. And in an effort to continue that balance, I will not make it a leaf ending. I will now leave the leaving of the leaves and get back out there.