Dark Night of the Soul
I have “update blog” on my list of things to do today. Well, truth be told, I have had “update blog” on my list of things to do all week long. It has come down to this: whether inspired or not, the blog must carry on. I don’t know why I am finding it so hard to get back into things here on this sight. Even my emailing habits as of late have taken a nosedive. But let's face it, they were really nothing to snort at to begin with.
OK…here it is. I’m blue. I am feeling a little out of sorts. A little down. I’m not sure why. Maybe it is having the taste of glorious spring out in BC, and then being thrown back into the unmelting field of snow in my backyard. Maybe it is getting back into my life after a very lackadaisical March. Maybe it is all the sadness in my church right now, as it seems like so many are really struggling with different things. The sorrow feels like it weighs heavily. Maybe I am just moody. I just don’t know. But I feel such a heaviness in my spirit, and I am at a loss as to what to do about it.
Last night I had a good cry – poor Harv. (Incidentally – what is a “good cry”? It really didn’t feel that good. It felt like a sobbing-heaving-I-think-I-am-having-a-heart-attack-anxiety-causing-sorrow-laden-tear-fest…and they call that “good”?) This morning, I still feel…ech. In fact, I really did not sleep well, and so now I feel tired, and…ech.
So, I am not sure what more to say. You know I would like to wrap all this up with a pretty bow, and say how I read a verse or two, and now I feel so much better. I do like things to come off looking…"unmessy”. But life is messy, and sometimes sadness lingers, and sometimes things cannot be spun into a positive Daily Bread sort of tale. So with that said…I will end this, and hope for better days to come.
7 comments:
I was sitting here, about to compose an early morning email to my best friend. I decided, for a few moments, to surf some blogs. I came across yours, read this post and practically started hyperventilating. First, because I feel bad FOR you. My prayers go out to you in your blueness. Second, because I feel bad WITH you. I could have written your post, in almost the exact same words. You're right, life is messy. I wish I could offer some words to make it all better, but we both know that's not going to happen. So let's just be blue together and allow God to do His work in us, whatever that may be. God bless you today!
(P.S. I was wondering whether my blueness has anything to do with tomorrow being crucifixion day. It is such a dark and sad thing.)
P.P.S. I blogged on being blue, too. And I linked to you.
Six in the morning? Now HOW, I ask you, am I supposed to get the coveted "first comment" spot if you are posting this early?
Love you. Sorry your sad. Hugs.
I just thought of something to cheer you up. Check your email.
Oh BECKY! How can you come here and comfort me, when part of the reason why I feel sad is because I can't take away YOUR sadness?!?
Love you too.
So I was thinking about your thoughts on being down because tomorrow is Good Friday. I guess if that is the case, then we know it will be better on Sunday. There is nothing that brings hope and a renewed spirit like Easter.
I shall look forward to Sunday.
Shirley, I posted a few more thoughts about today's blues.
Thanks for being an inspiration to me this morning.
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