Hubby - 1 Wife - 0

Do you ever feel like you just don’t get it? That you are just not quite making the grade?

Today my Hubby spoiled me for Valentine's Day. He brought me tulips, one of my most loved flowers, a great card, and best of all – the DVD of Grey’s Anatomy – Season #1 which was just released this morning. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. It’s my all time favourite show which I could watch every night, and now – well, I can! He knows me well. He knows how THRILLED I would be with such a treasure. He is a good husband.

And as for me as a wife…well, not so good. I can’t say that I have spoiled him back for Valentine’s Day. I ran ahead of him into Superstore tonight and picked out a card while he was getting the cart. It was late, so it was just me, and the other sheepish, neglectful spouses digging through a pathetic shame-filled sea of leftover, picked through cards. They were already marked down, and they might as well of had a neon flashing sign “Loser Lover” shining brightly above the card section. I put it in the cart, and Harv paid for it. There was no gift. Not even a special supper made for him tonight, because we were with the church all day on a ski trip.

So I’m wondering if anyone is looking for a slightly used and quite pathetic wife. I think Harv is looking to trade me in for a better model – preferable someone who is good with the Hallmark holidays!

I don’t even have a good excuse. I just suck. I am not romantic, I never know what to buy Harv for presents, I forget to buy cards till the last minute, it nearly kills me to try and plan something for his birthday, and I was relieved at Christmas when we were too poor to exchange presents. This is not my most shining hour people!

But I am not all bad. When I make him a lunch for his City Ministerial meetings, I sometimes put a little “hope you’re having a good day” note inside. I have been known to fill his shampoo bottle when I notice it is getting empty, so that he doesn’t find himself in the early morning tired and shampoo-less. I give him a "once over" on Sunday mornings, so that he will not find himself preaching a heart felt sermon with cereal in his teeth or cat hair on his tie. I watch where he puts things, so that I know where to find them when he is running through the house in frustration, and I talk non-stop to the point of annoyance to others about all the qualities that I love about him, and what a wonderful man he is. BUT I CAN’T CONQUER THE HALLMARK HORROR!! I can’t get it together for the special occasions.

Is there an equivalent to flowers for men? I can’t buy Harv flowers. He will know that they are more for me, than for him. But what is the equivalent for men? Last time I checked electronics were quite a bit more expensive than carnations or tulips! And really, a bouquet of Bic pens just doesn’t have the same effect as a dozen long stemmed roses. You men have it easy – you really do.

So, I definitely didn’t make it into the “Most Wonderful Wife Hall of Fame” for Valentine’s Day. And given my pathetic track record, things aren’t looking too hopeful for Easter or St. Patty’s Day either. But I would like to express to my dear Hubby that it is NOT that I don’t love you with every fibre of my being! I REALLY do. I am just not so good at this sort of thing.

And as for all of you, any sort of counsel would be much appreciated. Maybe with your help I could make it into the Hall of Fame for Thanksgiving or Chinese New Year. I do make a mean Fried Rice…