Heart Health

Harv and I attended a “Heart Health” class yesterday for…well…for a healthy heart. For three hours they filled our brains to overflowing. We left there quite motivated, and quite confused. Why does everything have to be so complicated? Bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, triglycerides; Saturated fats, polyunsaturated, monounsaturated, Trans fats. Soluble fibres and Insoluble fibres. I can’t keep it all straight! Nuts are very high in fat, but you should eat them, because they are high in good cholesterol – but not too many, because of the fat. You should choose a lower fat salad dressing, but not NO FAT, because then they are too high in sugars and in salts. And butter…don’t even get me started on the butter. The best margarines have 6 grams or more of unsaturated fats, which is determined by adding the values listed for the polyunsaturated and the monounsaturated fats. When the unsaturated fats add up to less that 6 grams, the margarine contains too much saturated fats and Trans fatty acids, which can raise your bad cholesterol levels and lower your good cholesterol levels. AAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!! TOO MUCH INFORMATION. I feel like I need to take a brain health class to recover from the heart health class. I can understand why Oprah just hired Rosie to do all her healthy cooking for her!!! Apparently to make it easier, there is a heart healthy check on approved foods – but we should be careful, because some brands have been adding a check of their own to promote sales. So we can buy the red checks, but avoid the blue or the green. Why can’t it be easier? Why can’t they just split the supermarket in half…good foods – bad foods? When I run the world that is what I am going to do. And you better believe that ice cream will be in the good foods department.

You know, I could really turn this whole thing into quite the spiritual application about how it is so much easier to bring our inner hearts in tune with God. I feel a pretty good Daily Bread reading stirring in my brain. But to tell you the truth – my head is still spinning from yesterday’s overload, and I think any more stimulation, and it may just explode. So I will leave you to ponder those things on your own. So until next time, I wish you a heartfelt farewell.