T'was the Night Before Christmas...

...and all through the house, no creature was stirring... Well I don't really consider Harv to be a creature, unless a creature of habit counts, but even as that there is no sign of stirring - he is fast asleep. Abby, our little chosen creature, on the other hand is most definitely stirring. She takes after me, and comes alive at night. It's Christmas Eve, and many out there are sleeping. I on the other hand remain awake a few moments longer to be as Mary, and ponder different things in my heart.

We had a city-wide joint Christmas Eve service tonight. It was excellent. My favourite part of the night was a rap performance of a Christmas song. It was done by this youngin’ who had so much soul, that he could put an album out today and it would hit the charts. I didn’t understand a single word that he said, but it was still awesome!

After the service we schmoozed with our church members, had happy reunions with their kids who were home for the holidays, and watched them leave the church with this joy that comes over people when they are heading home to partake in family traditions and such. And I gotta tell you…I felt sad. Not the feeling that you were expecting perhaps and definitely not the norm for me on Christmas Eve. But I watched all the families leave, and I felt so sad. Not that I would withhold any such family celebrations from any of them, but Harv and I went home… alone. There were no Christmas bags with peanuts and chocolates like when I was a kid, and the commotion that comes with the trading of chocolate bars and Dad stealing the orange and peanuts. There were no presents under the tree to be opened as a family. There was no watching of The Sound of Music, Meet Me in St. Louis, or any other Christmas favourite as my Dad and I would traditionally do. There was no puzzle started on the table, or smells of Mom getting egg nog ready for our traditional Christmas morning drink. It just felt sad.

So I had myself a little moment of self pity. Pity that we couldn’t be home with family (at least not until tomorrow night…) pity that we don’t have any kids yet to start our own traditions with, pity that we live far away and that we couldn’t leave yesterday, pity that we are all getting older and that we can’t hold on to those days when Christmas filled you with such excitement that you couldn’t sleep for the sheer joy and wonder of it all.

In the midst of all my pity my sweet husband took me in his arms and said “I’m your family sweetheart.” And that felt really really good.

So, no kids, no new traditions to follow, no big mess of wrapping paper to clean up after the gift extravaganza, no egg nog in the morning, but I’ve got one sweet hubby, and I’ve got packed bags that are by the door ready to go after the last amen of church tomorrow. And so life is good, and there is a lot to be thankful for. And with that I wish you all a Merry Christmas and to all a good night.