I Just Don't Get It...

My friend Becky gave me a little writing assignment. What are the things that I just DON’T GET?! I feel like such a journalist…my first real assignment. I wonder if this is how Barbara Walters got her start?! Anyways…here is my list…things that make me scratch my head and go…hmmmmm.

1.I don’t get…why the phone rings the minute you sit down on the toilet. Happens every time.
2.I don’t get…why my shower curtain always billows and sticks to my leg.
3.I don’t get…why I have to bag my own groceries at Superstore. C’mon people…I'm a nice person. PLEASE couldn’t you just bag my groceries…is that really asking too much? REALLY?!
4.I don’t get…hair tonic for men.
5.I don’t get…drive through florists. I mean really, if my husband can’t be bothered to get out of the car and get me flowers…don’t bother.
6.I don’t get…why there are 800 different kinds of pickles. Do we really NEED 800 different kinds of pickles? I stand there are stare in confusion…I don’t know what I want…extra garlic, no garlic, roasted garlic, dill, really dill, garlic and dill, crunchy, sour and crunchy, baby dills…too many choices!!! I CAN’T TAKE IT!!!!
7.I don’t get…why my cat attacks my feet ONLY when I have black socks on. Not white, not cream, not bare feet. Just black. What is it that she sees?
8.I don’t get…the difference between high speed, light speed and extra light speed. Extra light is slower than light. But doesn't extra light mean not as heavy, so you can move faster? They didn’t think that one through.
9.I don’t get…multiple varieties of the same drink. I just heard of a diet black cherry coke. If I want a coke, I will drink a coke. If I want a black cherry, I will drink a black cherry. Who comes up with these things?
10.I don't get...tattoos. They NEVER come off people.
11.I don’t get…Sexy underwear for 13 year olds. I saw some 13 year olds buying things that would make anyone blush. Why do they need that? They just whipped out their credit cards in between text messaging on their cell phones. Times, they are a changing.
12.I don’t get…acid washed jeans. Now that was a fashion faux pas if I ever heard of one.
13.I don’t get…Why Donald Trump doesn’t talk, he yells. And he always looks so mad. And really, if he is such a billionaire, can’t he afford a good hair stylist?
14.I don’t get…who came up with words like toque, or slacks. Seriously…were there NO better words? NONE?! REALLY?!??
15.I don’t get…call waiting. I hate it. I can’t believe that you could be talking to someone, take another call, and then decide who you would rather be talking to. RUDE. Ya…I guess that is my bitterness spewing forth from being a frequent loser of the call waiting face off. Sigh.

Just a few things that I don’t get. I would love to hear some of yours. Feel free to share. I would really be curious to hear from Michelle and Claudette and Amy and, actually never mind...I would like to hear from all of you!!! Thanks for the assignment Becky! I think I hear Pulitzer calling my name…